I was forwarded an article today that was published on the BBC UK website ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7278514.stm) regarding a sting investigation into the quality of child care being provided across nurseries in UK. There were serious concerns raised about the lack of any kind of background checks on the personnel employed in the nurseries etc. These are serious issues.
The response from a few friends of mine (quite a few of whom are working couples with kids in day care nurseries), quite naturally, ranged from shock to despair to indifference.
The thing that struck me the most was the fact the pretty much all seemed to start from a base assumption that both man and woman should work and that kid needs to be in child care.
I don't agree to the above assumption. I don't agree to the line of thought that puts one's work ahead of childs care and comfort.
At one time in the past it was percieved as worse than a crime for woman to work, she was consigned to the 4 walls in her house, then things changed and it was fashionable for woman to work and be independent. Nowadays it's almost a crime for a woman not to work - I always wonder where did this come from. I have come across elderly folks in India, who in their days would not allow their wives to get out of their house, now blatantly criticise and look down upon a woman who chooses to stay at home on her own free will. Why this hypocrisy? Should you go to work just because you are educated and can earn money? Is education's only logical outcome is in earning money? What's wrong in you being educated and making a choice of your own free will to do something other than going to work and earning money? I dare say that this all due to the fact that there is money to be made. Why encourage someone to sit at home and take care of their kid, when they can be out there and make money?? I don't care if you disagree with me, but that's the fact - whether you like it or not.
I don't care if it's the woman of the man who sits at home and takes care of the kid - what I care about is that there is a parent to take care of the kid. I am a parent and I have seen my highly qualifed wife (she is a management graduate and used to work for a leading Bank in India), agree to stay at home and take care of of our child for nearly 3 years. It was a brave choice she made and I am proud of her. She goes to work these days and she tells me it's easier to go to work than stay at home and take care of the kid. I would second that as I tried taking care of the kid for a week when she started work and realised that it's infinitely challenging but extremely rewarding to take care of your child. At the end of the day, it's your child and you alone have the ultimate responsibility to take care of and raise your child.
Also, for a moment focus in the motivation and incentive for both partners to work and make money - it's either career OR money OR as I once overheard a woman saying - 'I have to work, I just cannot imagine staying at home' OR worse, it's too difficult to take care of kid - I might as well have someone else do it even if it costs me money. In a working career life span of approx 25-30 years, does spending or setting aside 3-5 years for kid, such a big deal? I acknowledge and do know of couples who have to work because otherwise they cannot survive. But mostly, the couples that I have seen working are those, where there are no such adversities.
I ask the basic question again - Is it really important that you have to work for those crucial early 3-5 years of a kids life? What is it you are working for? Is it career / money or are you trying to get out of the responsibility that comes with taking care of a kid full time? Is it such a drag to take a 3 year break in you career to sit at home and to participate in that wonderful thing called growing up of your child ?? Is this going to close all avenues for you to work forever? Bear in mind, you are going to live longer and will have plenty of opportunities to work, but you are never going to get back those beautiful early years with your kid. It's a choice you make. It's your life after all.
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